February 2012
14 posts
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Unpopular opinion on british men
Me: I seriously can't get over the fact of how the UK keeps producing such fine male specimens.
Normal person: I knoooow right?
Me: Like, omg, Benedict Cumberbatch.
Normal person: Who?
Me: Like, omg, Tom Hiddleston.
Normal person: Who the heck is that?
Me: Like, omg, David Tennant
Normal person: Wut?
Me: Like, omg, James McAvoy.
Normal person: That one sounds familiar.
Me: Like, omg, Colin Firth.
Normal person: Isn't that the guy from Bridget Jone's Diary?
Me: And omg, John Simm and Matt Smith and Martin Freeman and Alan Rickman and Tom Hardy.
Normal person: Idon'teven...
Me: Rupert Graves and Colin Morgan and Hugh Laurie!
Normal person:
Me:
Normal person:
Me: What? Who were you thinking of?
Normal person: David Beckham.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Gtfo.
My mum wants me to stop obsessing over Sherlock.
sherwhotalian:
WHAT IS THE EFFING PROBLEM WITH SHERLOCK!?!
jamjalex:
do you ever sit there and work out the age difference between you and the celebrity you’re in love with and try to explain to yourself that 10 years isn’t THAT MUCH
January 2012
24 posts
Sherlock Holmes hasn't been this mainstream since...
Woman 1: "OMG did you read Mr. Holmes' new mystery yet!?!?!?"
Woman 2: "NO! I was out late harvesting grain or some shit I do in the 1800's so I didn't get to read it yet."
Woman 1: "OMG dude, put down your cow milking bucket and go read that shit RIGHT. NOW. It's so good."
Woman 2: "Okay okay! No spoilers! I'm leaving right now to get it. Milk my cow while I'm gone okay?"
Woman 1: "FINE. But only if you agree to talk about it after you're done reading so we can fangirl."
Woman 2: "DUH. Of COURSE. I'll brb. -picks up skirt and runs to store-"
Jon gets heated about incorrect grammar and...
Jon: I'm going to release a brand, right, called "Baked Bean's in Tomato Sauce".
Russell: Yes?
Jon: I'm gonna put "beans" with an apostrophe "s".
Russell: Yes?
Jon: In that tin will be one bean in tomato sauce. People will buy those beans and they'll come to Trading Standards going, "hey, there's only one bean in here!" and I'll go, "well, if you read the label you'll find that's all that's implied: Baked Bean *is* in Tomato Sauce. It's more of an existential statement."
Russell: As a business, it's not really going to kick off, is it? Let's be honest.
Jon: I know, but people will learn a lesson because they'll think, "I'll never buy those beans again and I'll learn correct use of an apostrophe!".
Russell: Why do you want them to learn that lesson?
Jon: Because that's what apostrophes are for!
Harry Potter and the Times He Was Brilliantly... →
nevillethebamf:
“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!”
“Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night,” said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. “What do you…
December 2011
8 posts
“Not only have I always had trouble distinguishing between what happened and what...”
– (via themanrepeller)
“Fashion is one of the very few forms of expression in which women have more...”
– Fashion is a Feminist Issue: Greta Christina (via cholalicious)
Also it can’t change without getting treated as a feminist issue. Lord knows everyone involved seriously needs to step it the fuck up and abolish the serious racism and body-hating that runs fucking rampant in this industry with a...
November 2011
27 posts
“Stephen Fry: “Certainly the most destructive vice, if you like, that a person...”
– polla wolla wolla:
accurate
(via slimmeroo)
